Scion of Fangor

I liked the story, but I think it could be made even better if you edited a few things. There are quite a few info dumps and a few places ...

Hi, it's me Scion and I'll review your work today. Haven't got time for much so I'll just do the prolouge. His is my first real book and it is ...

same shade for eyes. I can't help thinking that this should be "same shade of eyes". whose wife and he both decided I think this should be "they decided". Apart ...

Hi, I thought it had great build up, but a sudden ending that could be expanded more. You could give a technical description of a "bomb" for instance, tell us ...

I really like it. But that just might be me. The scenery needs expanding a lot as do the chapters. Still a good read, keep writing! It mostly seems right ...

The story seemed very abrupt and extremely confusing for those that don't know who or what the clans are. I think if you want the reader to feel anything because ...

Very nice story, I spotted a few missed words, which I can't find now I've read it. Some of the speech seemed a bit unnatural. But apart from that I ...

I really like it, somehow it had a depth into it that sucked me in. It also has a very mysterious air that made me feel like I was at ...